Lara Bel, pag 53
TRANSLATION, NOT FIT?
FROM PROGRAM, OF “LITTLE REVISED, WHERE FROM I VOLUTE.
OTHER POSSIBILITY' (…) WORK?
?
If that day with those clouds he suspended in the sky.
The eyes perfumed or the feel that if one caress could reach was like tell something, because' we am moments that not can be premised and the word is' already' dimostrata and then that thing is' the caress that lei immaginava, without not even accorgersene, almost that we pits anybody that desire as, without still not even know (…) existence of lei.
Qual is' this imagination that you appears like if already' all you know, but that not froms where' entrance to other feelings, that speaks of an doubt cross the certainty, that you appears cosi' in who the alive or the immagina.
Lara Bel walked and between if and if immaginava that that something that the stayed happening not has other explanation, was an desire or one imagination, or more' exactly the look that wanted but that not it happened.
Lara Bel has the hair long and liras, is' tall an meter and sessantanove has of the make happy breasts and an footstep calm, in some moments seems dark and definite in other seems have an body sweet and calm.
While walks along the road, between an sidewalks and l’ other and now quite in the half of an island pedestrian, not stays thinking to that caress, observes the sky and stays to contemplate the your color, in sottofondo avverte the noise of the traffic, originate from an' other road and, when looks at in front of to se' sees any person that crosses l' island, who with an newspaper under the arm, who with one wheelchair from walk for children.
Look at this morning and turn the look to who mi looks at, l’ air is' cool but not cold and c' is' people that sits moles tables out you local.
Now mi sento quite well the color today am quite belli, while look at the space is' before to i i imagine of ask something but not know thing, and then is' better leave go and observe, think.
Two person speak to an table an po' far, to the my shoulders.
_ “ have notice that in the book, be missing three commas all' begin and an apostrophe where tells an conceives, thing that not is' in the presentation that you law in internet.
” _ “ sembra almost that in the presentation, had look for of soften (l’) begin, an po' of breathe all' interpretation of the reader.
” _ see little far an cassonetto filthiness, look at the my hands clean, grab the counter of the cassonetto and see that for fortune is' almost full.
Have found two sandwiches in one envelope, still cellofanati and, while stay session here on this bench see observe, from anybody.
See one woman pleasant session with the back erect, that eats an sandwich, has the legs linear and the look calm, mi approach and mi sit on the bench.
_ hail!
Bella day?
_ marvelous!
_ believe that buy' an sandwich anch' i, c' is' an shop here nearby?
_ not know … he lirased' have prone from house, i … any wants the half' of quest' other?
To i bes enough this.
_ because' no thank you.
… good, like the has prepared?
_ cosi' with that that have found this morning in house, an sandwich of fortune.
_ much good, thank you … knows the stayed observing, before, not know if mi has notice do?
_ be' yes'.
_ knows mi am dictate … or better maybe l' have thought without dirmelo, mi seems that not coop waiting nobody, but not has hurry, can' from where that anybody possa also become anybody, also if any.
Maybe is' an po' rough like thought, concept.
_ yes'!
Anybody or nobody not is' dictate that he she it duty be whoever, in the sense that whoever not is' dictate that not he she it duty be one person, or he she it duty for force appear qualcos' other.
_ already' in effects have date l' impression of think to something that you appears, but maybe because' the my thought was something between l' imagination and the possibility', and l' apparition was (nell’) uncertainty of something that not knew like be stayed, accaduta, in effects was in an thought in an attempt, that he lirased' for he lirased' had observe without know exactly that thing it happen, believe that same doing something and to meantime same immaginando of farla, believe that same thinking to i like to possible whoever, knows in effects not had fear of sedermi here, but maybe c' was in the my feeling an desire of impossible, exactly, maybe an' image present but latent that in the endless possibility' of that that can' happen, stayed he lirased' and mi observed in the your possible.
Maybe was simple curiosita', or an action of the life more' important … but in deep was only that desired sedermi and starle more' nearby.
_ how much belongingses happen in an day, and how much times leave that the verita' you firm in an limbo inexorable without existence, as often you ago pretense and in deep is' only one pretense or one convenience that that legitimates l' appearance, and is' like if this relativismo of the justification, the your acceptance giustifichi even the same word and the your meaning, that that that want be already' accept, an' acclarazione only, that you apparent, that stays he lirased' to legitimate and speak of the reality' like of the well supreme that you apparent, that you determines, that establishs the measures and the rule, quite in lack of she, is' like know without understand, like understand telling that all is' establish, explainable, and ancor of more' defensible … also this half sandwich that the have offer … and then cos' is' this that you apparent, the establish in that way, set of the finish and of the opportunita' to the justification, almost they rendano certain and true all the uncertainty moral, and the voleri social.
(L’) love is' becomes an action of the justification not of the verita' of the quite be, or of that' that (…) be you appears, thing mi legitimates in this appear?
Who mi legitimates?
And who is' l' other if not this convenience, in definitive to this you riduce.
But then c' is' need of an other in the systematizes that you legitimates or he becomes necessary and convenient, appagante for the explanation, who authorizes l' author to be cosi' if not something that tells (ch)' is' correct that' that you appears only because' is' defensible and therefore from that' derives also that that you appears like unfair, in deep is' an po' like those measures that establish the regimes of the verita' where the reproduction systemic and in reality' faceless of the reality' froms where' to liberty' (…) art the your ragion d' be and the justification to life social like culture perfectly justified from regime and of the your organization social, this appearance of liberty' like event omologante establishs and legitimates the classification in which you stays, like life and reality' regimentata, you thin priority of the culture of the justifications.
If the measures (…) love of dio has one measures, which be' the justification and l' appearance that for she establish' and determine' the verita' of the possibility' that froms where' all' man the faculty' of love dio, and who establish' who dutys amarlo and who no, and the culture siffatta, to the your organization of verita', to social that you appears, with what conveniences and justification, the your classification of well and of badly, if not in deep with thing you will appear' more' convenient, to of there' of dio (…) be human and maybe also (…) other.
Whoever not is' more' nobody, not has more' greatness, because' not has more' the silence of one person.
Mi excuse in these last phrases, mi am almost mass to think from only … but knows which organization social not looks for the justification to your convenience, and in deep more' for power that for acquaintance and comprehension, an love with the balance of the opportunita', so called real and that share of million and of billion of men, all with an balance on which legitimate the quite be in reason (…) appear of the convenience.
_ how much years has?
_ twenty eight, but knows some days think of have thirty three or thirty five or thirty are, be' that mi sento also i of appear?
_ go to take one bottle d' water with two glasses, return suffer.
_ see quest' man on the quarantina that you removes, and already' the i imagine return with the bottle in hand, not pits also because' of already' the see that l' acquires, chissa' if c' is' one fountain here nearby?
But because' between an po' drink'.
When passage like in this moment, or also am session to look at, mi ask if the contemplation be quell' observe all, to of there' of that that only interests and look at all the meanings in one discovery without that the end had one necessity', and then maybe, but believe quite without no maybe you appears that' (ch)' is' free and harmonious and that' that not the is', the your essence more' that the your derivation.
And then if all is' in equilibrium all also you breaks, but if c' is' an place that in reason of that' want understand or be, taking deeply almost in the need that the more' perfect nature be more' natural of the possible equilibrium without that nobody volonta' we be to such purpose, ce any is' an that averts because' all in plunders to check, an disturb from which detach, in the detach same that we ago feel that that observe in harmony.
And then the people any times not know dirvi if appear or am like an evidenziatore that you write set and that with he disappear for the you as appear, alterati as in looks for of demonstrations with which determine an' opinion to you vedersi in function of or much more' often against who.
If the beings have need of feel beloved and belli, in that that of true is', in the give, that enrichs the silence and the reciprocita', they cosi' disappear for appear.
And if mi sento distaccata when contemplate in one natural essence of the moment, like of the moment that mi belongs in the detach, cosi' call, not necessary, duty do silence of the images that you make such and deprived of depth', expression of an feeling superficial, of an judgment to which stay in appear of an' opinion that not has no dialogue or relationship, but that curtains to determine an check that looks at if same and nothing other, for half of this rules that you son past set, that you highlights.
Mi sento only or solitary now while walk, maybe ne' l' one or l' other thing, am calm and i same, not c' is' ne' boredom ne' hurry and also that frees acquaintance of the liberty' of contemplate often only observe, not you averts more' of as (nell’) anxiety of incommunicability' of the images that you make such, that express an' opinion only cross the you visibility', staying in silence when duty tell the verita' or do noise when the duty listen to.
If avessi the detach from anger that can' have an man, maybe, but chissa' maybe is' also this that that have and then am only without feel solitary.
Mi sit under the sun and the front of an tree, move from wind each as mi do shades on the face, any women mi observe while mi spend before, other am taking to speak the one with the other.
The men am strange, seem available to be manipolati from consent that riescono to get.
And of the rest the women that see for the more' look for and represent one condition social more' that moral, the you opinions like those of the men the class economic and the feelings of the one and of the other the you relative ambitions, and justifications of convenience, the you dirsi satisfy like maliziosamente dissatisfied, the speak of the you satisfaction like of the you dissatisfaction always in before person derived, and always of if same or if same.
Of the rest also i that the observe, that often the listen to mi find in one condition consistent to you appear, but this ought to be one my perception, if mi from where available to open and mettermi also i one crawls colored above for from where an' image with l'evidenziatore, these people you feel ancor more' in the you role and in the justness of the you condition and between l'arroccamento asocial and the democratic elargizione find and show the my correct role, correspondent to verita' of the you images, and also the my image have one justification be that be rifiutata or approved and i conoscerei the motive of these feelings and the reason of the because' he she it duty provarli, contemplate the husk and i same cross the my image and the anger or the justification that be.
Nobody you is' aware that have hunger, c' is' who has look at the my hair clean, any men the breasts and the legs few the hands, only three or four people the my look, and be enough little for trovarmi set, against, one voglia impudent of embezzlement, not have visa one person that have accept one conversation authenticates.
Mi lift from bench where am session and mi start walking in looks for of any cassonetti of the refusals, to quest' now many am impassable and is' difficoltoso prendervi something, for the you depth', but any can reserve of the privilege and of the favoritismi, type this that has place to your side of the cassettes with two tomatoes not quite of before choice, and want see that inside c' is' also of the bread, to' eccola here, though to course of hand.
Look at the eyes and the my face reflexes on the glass, session before to finestrino of the train that flows.
Chissa' if the trains continue to exist … we am two women sessions of front to i and the listen to speak, speak of the politics and then spend ((…)) deduce of the politics to that of the give birth, you give birth to cost (…) completes vacation, the person to my side answers that quest' year not has power, quite, go in vacation, not mi was aware that was with the other two, that had renew l' apartment and that the cost of the life stayed quite riducendo the you way of life.
And like you ago continued to tell, not is' certainly essential, useful that you abdicate to that that you can' have, in definitive to that that we bonus, almost we ago feel apprezzati.
I if not i take care of certain belongingses in the my life sento of not amarmi, he told l' other.
All to protest for that and for quell' other, quite because' is' an way important for feel apprezzati.
Am small gestures, that want an auto new or (l’) suit or the straight line for the school for not be from beside garlics other.
Who not wants appear succeed.
Tell my have visa that problem with the park, not you riesce to spostarsi more' from here to he lirased', but of the rest like you ago.
That thing is' this strange madness (…) admiration for half of the objects, these images that do feel the people of amarsi because' admire, almost that be l' unique purpose of the you use, l' unique motive for which employ the time in the you life, from where one representation and protest for the dues of the objects of that representation, where am the thoughts l' emotions and the feelings, the depth' that you picks up?
Moles dues of the objects that do yes', that the you possession tell qual is' the degree (…) love that each to for if same and for who like he possesses those objects.
Dov' is' the liberty' of the contained human.
Pay if same for vedersi rappresentati or represent like something that who has price looks at, the verita' of the feel beloved, in the gratify of this and compete for this for give one representation to quite gratify.
Gratify the price that you froms where' to own representation to that strange play of the consent, not know because' call play, that ago envy who tells the verita' like that one that not knows amarsi that represents that that not you can' not see, and that not stays in reason of, but only because'.
And l'impurita' you highlights ovunque, kills completely the spontaneita'.
Maybe not is' exact tell impurita', yet is' quite così when, we you loves autenticamente, that' (ch)' is' false, the see represent not “l' love but the your opposite, that gives birth to and from the ways to all, be to stupidita' that to representation (…) intelligence, this thing stupid (…) pride dell' amarsi without look at, of the do pretense of nothing of not see not even and think assurdamente that that' not esista, not we you loves and not you is' able of give, and when seems correct give love così, the give and l' have of the quite interest of the own curiosita', of the manifest same (…) love, that more' big not can' appear, the correct give, the convenience of represent and the sex from espletare.
When we you loves cosi', you tells, deeply like not be riconosciuti and pronunciati (nell’) love of all those that share this change that deserves justice and attention, where who froms where' receives, until to who you admires you leaves free of do, has the our admiration and of those that the represent.
Mi look at reflected on the glass, love my, look at the country, love my, the trees that the popolano, the seeds that grow, love my, the sky is' all' become dark, love my, but little ago (l’) have visa blue and cross of the clouds, love my, see the birds beccheggiare between the earth, that changes color and intensita' between where is' more' or lead damp, love my, see anybody inside one house, in one room illuminata, mi withered before for an instant and the look at from train that flows, love my, the roofs of the houses and the countries, love my, i look for l' air on the front of the trees, those more' distant from railroad, love my, think to the belongingses that succeed and to those that mi succeed, love my, think to the memoirs, but ancor of more' to the reflection more' near, to the thoughts deep that mi come in mind now, love my, love my as husk and as silence, and as am simple some moments of dio, love my.
My love the train stays for arrive, between an po' descend' from train, descend, descend with i, love my.
Descend from train and the voice that resounds in the station is' that that announces the departure and l' arrive of the trains, footstep cross this by go of people, of places that you move, almost pits only this the because' dell'incontrarli.
Passing to footstep.
As soon as out l'androne, the space of the taxi, an bum, clochard, not know in which other name is' call.
Is' elderly and support to one clothes hanger, you service to speak with i, speaks of the your history of the war, mi asks something, seems that possa return if same, mi asks of the money, for one soup, that the damage in the kitchen of an hotel restaurant, he lirased' nearby, mi is' in pocket one coin between the more' small that we am in turn, gliela do and the greet, and the tell that not can of more', mi ago sign that goes well and if any gos'.
As soon as out (dall)' air of the station, mi find in half to traffic, jammed from an procession that apparent, on the sidewalks walk in half to crowd of the procession, moving each turns for avoid of be urtata, between currencies and representations, all in delay of the you answer, like and when more' or lead intenzionati, all in procession, to speak in choir and show, the opinions that you weigh the ways that you show, the presence of tell and do because', c' is' an husk that you shows and that for this sees the your opinion, not you listen to the opinions, ne' you have in definitive if not you look at in cotanti, not is' an way also this for affirm something more' that know and know, not is' an way for do do to of there' of that' (ch)' is' true, not is' an sadism out place that that for exist looks for of destroy for give to that' that you builds one visibility', an consent to of there', that froms where' to the consequences the protagonismo to which you dutys participate and only in vision of this understand.
Without an' opinion that he she it they from where an sense to that' that it happens, because' the solution couples without need of show, for know and think, not the representation of the need, but live the sense, and then you can' discover the verita' also (nell’) opinion of anybody, with anybody, without that because' she esista be demistificata in this process of the consent, where only lend attention to if same for half of the consequence generabile.
Not have choice, am forced to spostarmi in time for avoid that anybody mi finisca set and stays blear for i, if these people not can move from where am or only you sentono in straight pour of i of leave that you cross, without dare move the footstep, or, but not know lend attention, am in one direction already' determinata and is' obviate that not we you possa move otherwise, we be' an shift sudden an gesture sudden, but not we be' nobody that howl' the verita', from only, as that all you stop, and if as pits the verita' and, all are forced to listen to, all do in way of return to think to if same for continue all together, seems not we be other way for give convenience to verita' that you shows, for tell that you is' ascoltati and that you participates, we you reassures and you judges, and the forms of power seem do something for account of not you knows who, that if stop of howl seems that possano do that that you wants, but not you knows for account of who and for that thing and one kind of apathy returns to upset, l' experience and the people, one boredom of the thought that legitimates the lie like an action of reality', like the better choice possible, like the reason common more' correct and certain, the consequences return for recall l' attention not in the understand and give an sense, but so that' ordinino the from becoming to each, to of there' of the conscience and (…) intelligence, or of an' opinion.
Sincerely l' love (ch)' is' the real dimension human of each animates, person, characterize, you extinguishs in the fear and l' hate checks l' intelligence and the your representations of opinion and l' action is' all turns over again all' affirmation of they, like unique possible salvazione (…) immanent consequence, one life bes worth an husk, and the peace without one life not bes worth the husk whole, not grows nothing if not an' apathy always more' big an' delusion and one reason false, that not can that show in the falsification of the life, of the thought and of the your expression d' love, if the force is' foolish l' love dutys be free and real, communicant in the present all and not only in the visibility' of an husk that not knows thing do and looks for of from where l' love for imporsi sull' hate, like consequence (…) love, that' is' the difference between the conveniences, not the acquaintance of the limits of the acquaintance same.
Am beyond all this people, have cross be the transparency that the protagonismo of the demonstrations of this procession and only any mi have do road, if you move are forced to spostarti, if meet anybody stop, finishs that are forced to spostarti, if meet an body are forced to approach to wall of the houses, to walk looking at in hurry the feet and the expressions, often absent, pour of te that stay walking, almost that all know that thing you stays he lirased' to do, until moles places of the choices of the power.
Have overcome the people that that was stayed and now can walk more' freely for go out (dall)' live and see the wood.
Begin to walk between the trees, in the brushwood and sento the play of the my footsteps between l' grass, almost you warn the movement of all the body.
The avverto in the legs in the back (sull)' abdomen, and is' an play between the silence, between the breathe that accompany the walk.
Walk between the trees in this wood not is' difficult and each as the trees you widen and leave the space to meadow under the sky.
Walk silent with the thoughts that stay he lirased' without crowd in the head and moles breathe, in the lucies that changes color to the leaves, that froms where' to color of the tronchi l'intensita' and the perfume, with l' air that any caresses the leafy branches leaf, more' or lead that be season hot or cool or from type of tree that crosses the four season.
The afternoon you comes ahead and the lucies is' already' an po' attenuata, and i walk, walk without think or meet, without ask beyond that that sento in this moment, without listen to nobody voice, with the silence that not looks for the memoirs and, “che' while think reflect, simply to the feelings that sento, to the belongingses that you see.
The song of any birds seems warn of the time (ch)' is' departed in the day and mi sit on of an trunk d' tree, fallen to ground, stay cosi' to look at the lucies between the trees, breathe deeply and sento l'odor of the earth an po' more' damp, almost look for the my hand for be touched, mi see naked like if in deep avessi voglia of spogliarmi, of feel the my feet naked (nell’) grass, l' air on the breasts, and maybe anybody that mi caress.
But not is' one feeling of nostalgia, not is' look for of imagine something that not exists, not like if not belong to this loneliness, not i look for that' that not c' is', not because' not want that we be, but because' not c' is' and i am in an other place, am eccitata and (mi) caress here session (sull)' tree, mi caress (l’) groin and the sex, all, am damp and fragrant and sento the my clitoris, want that he same here mi enter inside, that pits slow and full of caresses, that change intensita' and time, that mi caress before of excite and kiss with passion and then with delicacy, that mi enter inside plain, and without surrender to my desire, like knows do, slowly, like one caress, without almost i the wait, mi feel the abdomen and the sex that suffer agonies with the my voice, want feel that mi tightens between the arms while you leaves inside of i.
Am from only here in the wood and see as many women and many men that you sentono more' of the copies, that like unique and possible, and the women that in deep look for thousand pratiche that not dare tell, that in deep bes enough an sex, an organ false, and maybe better anybody that the moves inside, while even the kisses and changes the fault false and the forms, son pratiche more' of the praticita', as from not understand more' which necessity' you had for one function sexual sort of roles and power.
Am session on the trunk, with the hands support on the bark, the my shoes am an po' bathe (…) grass that here and there' you appears an po' damp, mi touch the body and sento the clothes an po' cold on the skin of the hands and have thought to these belongingses session cosi', almost ditches naked really, this light desire live.
Walk continue to walk, the lucies of the day begins quickly to diminish, like always in this period (…) year, begin to feel l' water of the river that flows, but still not the see, between an po'.
Walk in the evening, with the day or the time d' she that until now have vissuta inside i, the wood you opens and the meadow in the evening that advances finds again an po' of green, the your color an po' impiastricciato from earth, glimpse the play of the river and see house, now know that the river is' he lirased'.
Stay out house while the dark of the evening transforms the sky and the stelle and the firmament you appears always more' intense.
Mi sit before the carrys, the green of the trees is' become dark and the moon any attenuates an po' the color.
If anybody pits here to listen to that that think maybe succeed to udirlo, as is' calms and deep the evening.
Sento an po' the tiredness in the legs, for the walk that have do in all the day and despite the beauty of the nature mi surprises an yawn.
Mi lift and mi start on the carrys, i look for the key in the pocket right of the pants, then the take in that of left.
Light the battery with the neon that have appoggiata nearby to carrys, l' environment you illuminates tenuemente, mi approach to couch and mi we lay down with the leg right out and the foot support to floor.
Have hunger but prefer quite sleep, rest one decina of draft in this position, then mi lift and mi sit, think that we am of the potatoes and of the chestnuts, these we am always, ought to cultivate an small garden, for have tomatoes and salad, any hen, but then there abdicate each turns that think, that am out also for different days, not always but in any periods yes'.
Peel two potatoes and with an po' of you climbs the eat cosi'.
Maybe ruin that marvelous silence, but while eat light the remove and find one station in language italian that transmits of the theater, listen to the words from aim in which have alight while continue to magiare the potatoes.
Think that am gets tired and quite not mi am sentita of boil.
Mi you comes of observe the battery, because' think that maybe l' have lasciata disconnected from “brush” solar, not memory if l' have disconnected when am going by, see that was stayed in loads and, return with the look in the room and listen to the words of the remove that not know from which satellite raining in this place, am to half' of the second potato, mi lift and mi pour (…) water in the glass and drink without hurry, return to sedermi on the couch and finish the potato.
Am too gets tired for continue to listen to the remove, mi lift from couch extinguish the remove and go to stretch on the bed, have an bed ample, on boarding support to of the tronchi d' tree, do in the wood, mi prepare for sleep mi insert in the bed, take from comodino the hat of wool that there had as soon as support, the insert and dormo.
With who stayed thinking?
With i same, with i same.
Liberty' liberty', think, think to something that not memory where … of anybody that howled this word and continued to repeat.
Not can do the bathe in the river, because' is' cold, and stay session on the trunk and look at the river that flows.
Ought to tell that not c' is' quite nothing for which tell.
Seems that not accada nothing and i today stay' here, maybe read'.
Mi you comes near the usual goat that not know from where be fuggita and, like always leaves that (l’) caress.
Duty maybe be flood of anger, but here really not c' is' nobody that disturbs, that looks for embezzlement, that with the cafonaggine finds comprehension dagli other, as is' transitory the distinguish that many riescono to do on the sense and the relationship with the verita' of the own behaviors, for the more' consociativi and for this deprive of an characteristic altruistic, the person cafona dutys be inclusive is' in the norm and of the rest who not is' boor dutys feel for force underprivileged, to uneasiness, the derivation is' l' unique consequence of the feel if same, l' unique concept (…) love for the next, all you put again to something and to quite ego, duty make account always and though only for if same you consociano and you plaudono and understand, like mi is worthwhile, like mi is worthwhile.
Who in deep makes account to dio, to verita', that that not has need of interpret or mediators.
Duty have thousand times the anger inside and, not doubt that seems that be cosi', but only for an motive, because' the words that have the verita' inside seem howl in who the listens to, for the boors.
I am here in this place and am distant much distant from feeling that can' think an liar (nell’) listen to these words, if the power, think that am angry.
Chissa' maybe find consolation to this do consociandosi with other in such thought and all together completely in the lie, slander for half of the you perception alterata, patentati in cafologia that acquire authority' in base to lie or all' effect interpretative of such lie, or ancor of more' hypothesizing one thing and then demonstrate cross the consociazione l' effect or l' action on of i.
Is' cosi' capillary such systematizes (ch') is' professionally remunerate, not only in the patent for boors which those of the sciences of the communication or of the psychologists, but strategicamente develop moles sectors of the section military, of the organizations advertising, that through the you organize acquire authority' on the participants of the society' civic that by by you behaviorizza and pays, but ancor more' you narcisizza.
Think, that in inghilterra we am section and departments anti behaviorism, not know if in deep for legitimate.
In effects any agent deprive can' cause effects, or multiply the psychosis behavioristic to discapito of i, only if want, be for account personal that for organization criminal or other stay.
Is' cosi' capillary such do and be that there is' share in this in each dimension of the life consociativa, and you whets when you comes determine for do of the badly, but the is' always, badly.
Am flood of anger, for nothing is' only that c' is' an way consociativo and organize that not ax that i believe in the felicita', that mi raggiungerebbe also here, with the you manichee people with the tecniche behavioristiche with which often you realize homicides without ne' reason ne' motive.
Natural.
Not have anger and all this is' for i from time past, but like told the time of the embezzlement and of the cafonaggine is' always he lirased' ready to annoy with the your do competitive and arrogantemente superficial, vain and egocentric.
And is' almost an miracle that here, still, anybody cosi' annoy not mi had visa, almost not we pits no other that possa listen to the my thoughts, that circles an pretext for determine an attitude annoy for affirm the your identita' on the my, with concepts factious and that perseguono only the nuisance and the plagiarism, not only pour of i, but the attempt of use i for plagiarism of the verita', dell' emotions like of the feelings, of the words and the calumny of the behaviors, of the meaning and of the life same.
Continue to caress the goat that bleats contented, look at the river, wait that the sun be tall, then to half' of the day eat' something.
Mi lift and pick up with the hands an po' of water from river and the carry to face, is' cool and desirous of life like i.
The afternoon mi stretch above one cover on the meadow and leave that the rays of the sun that still mi illuminate, mi heat the face, believe that sleep', an po', then do' one walk go up againing the river.
Walk cross, the wood, the river that with the your current points out the road that descends pour the sea.
Liberty' liberty', walk thinking to these words that not memory in which occasion or who the had he fromed where, perfume l' air breathing to full lungs, avverto the wood with the memory that sente the your odor.
Liberty', almost that not pits more' of an century that you tells and you chatters, but from always, like the volonta' has chosen of condition.
Sento the noise of the my footsteps that go up again along the river, the leaves that you compress under of i, the flowers that not you want never stamp on and l' grass that seems reassure.
Out out and still out, here in the silence (nell’) certain walk, am distant you out calls (…) pride and of the volonta', not c' is' no straight divine or human that possa accept the do that for sopruso of anybody volontariamente or in association of any or of many, for half of tecniche psicologiche you voglia do plagiarism of the my liberty' of choice, of the my want, of the my responsibility', not exists crime, no, ancor more' damnation more' evident of who uses the volonta' for manipulate the conscience and the my frees expression, of who looks for of determine the my intentions and ancor more' interpreting the my act tells the meaning of the my act, without not even ask or speak with i, qualora ve any pits an true motive, not exists nobody explanation to folly in which you close these people with the you volonta', in the you total eredita' moral and loss of the meaning of moral human of the liberty', embezzlers of the want, that affect the reality', like pathetic enforceable of the badly.
Husk whole that disappear, competitions that you legitimate, memories and emotions that you destroy, legislation for as useless unreal, virtual, arbitrary and deadly.
An will without conscience, one insanity that has cross the labyrinth human until to your definition scientific.
By from i all these thoughts by from i all the wars and all the injustices daily, all the wars and all the infamies, all the damneds beharovizzati, mobbizzati or wicked, the wicked of the volonta'.
Look at the wood, see the sky, listen to the birds and not c' is' nobody technique that manipulates the my senses that froms where' to my conscience one volonta' from condition and manipulate, not we am proud or wicked with i.
(L’) water of the river is' cleaning up and from drink, and only this small miracle is' sufficient to reduce l' insensibility of the dominion of the volonta', to remember that the acquaintance not has from compete with nothing, as lead with the conditionings that obnubilano l' animates, not we am intentions from defend, or prides to which react, the my life not has need of wicked to which is' permitted the you malvagita', the you authenticate mess of the superiorita' of the volonta', like expression of crime or altro.
I am only and also in half to all the wicked stay and mi feel still marvelously only with i same, with the liberty' of belong to an absolute or to dio that i sento think to of there' of the limits of the volonta'.
Walk am only and frees and know that the beauty is' true because' authenticates, always authenticates.
The evening stays descending and the thoughts of the malvagita' you leave, to the centuries or garlics years or to those of now, to end of the you liberty' and conscience, to sopruso and all' deceive of the dominion of the senses, of the you manipulation and to schiavitu' of the you stimulus or law.
Serenely breathe l' air of the evening, mi sit in earth and stay cosi' to think in silence, have still on the lips the cool (…) water as soon as drink from river and mi sento relaxed and absorbed in the silence that the play of the wood solitary mi postpone, stay' here session still for an' now, then return' pour house, look at' the sky and the stelle, quite when be' by now almost junta, be' rich like always, without the need of the wealth, without not even the need of think to an example of anybody, to something that i the remember and the images of the violence am moles you enforceable.
Through in house drink (…) water, the goat is' stayed nearby the house.
After have eaten, light the remove and mi stretch on the couch.
Is evening, and also today have departed one day, flood intense and all sommato calm, not know well which be the day that have departed you, often mi tell belongingses that not mi do understand well which be the your stay d' animate.
Mi ask often because' not we you possa more' see and speak like you did one turns, seems that that that not you po' do chiuda each other possibility', almost that the matter be all in the not have more' nothing from dirsi, better be tell, share.
Maybe because' bes missing the coherence for put in discussion that' that you appears true, maybe is' true an po' of reality' in the do, as that stops each other thing, but then more' that the attempt, the discussion, is' quite that you dutys be honest with if same and not look for alibi in the justification of the convenience, like if this pits the thing more' reasonable from do.
And then if c' is' the reality' that you verifichi that that for reasonableness not wants that we be, needs that you be coherent with this impossibility', or for vilta' or for injustice, or deceive to which not can give excuses, or accept that accada, or not stay in the limbo of the your unreasonable condition of dependence from reasonableness of the convenience.
This, your, more' that idleness, is', dare tell cecita' omologante without choice ne' courage, and not can' bear cosi' repentinamente, like te any ditches as soon as aware, of made not have put in account nothing and all, l' other, if though of an other have hypothesize, he not stays from nobody you departs if not, quite in the reality' that you have volute that live, and thing tell, have left that try of entrust, that provasse to see as you power be coherent with that' that provavi.
And qual is' the your attitude, maybe have date you one possibility' of be acquired and almost comprata, but in the reasonableness of the convenience, but that' obbiettivamente not could dartelo, before, and also now seems an attempt awkward, one superiorita' of the your awareness on that (…) other, well knew that if pits stay cosi' not have had nothing of that' that have had, not have receive freely, want tell with love that' that quell' love preziosamente had, and not you be sentita in the possibility' of be you quell' love, of discover not only like you loves, but esserlo cosi' as and in way not even immaginato, like of the rest nobody profitable convenience can' imagine, as from not know more' like legitimate the sense of the your existence in reference all' unicita' of the reality' and of the verita', in compare to that' that you fromed where to representation and visibility' of the your reality', in reality' have swap the your fear with the consolation (…) appear.
Not in the beauty, in the true be, (nell’) observation from husk for the verita' that you lived, and that in definitive you did feel osservata, without that you any understand the true motive.
Quite in this unicita' in which you you felt provata, but that warned, thinking that pits something d' other, giacche' thought the same living all from only, without not even understand that thing pits, well maybe this your conceitedness not was all your, but was your the vanita' that granted to the lusinghe that you did believe such thing, and not you can' tell that l' other pits condemnable for that that you any lived and not understanded compiutamente, appropriandotene, with the stupidita' (…) egocentrism, in the transform the attentions and l' intelligence receipt like expression of the own qualita', like reflex same pour the husk, that froms where' to quite i the feeling of something never provato before, and that leaves all' other l' action conceited of the complaisance, this your vainglory was completely unreasonable like the conceitedness, that in the conveniences of the reasonableness independently dall' other, you power realize, the complaisances, and are indeed diventata cosi' ammagliata from te same, as from try to repeat the life like one reproduction of the feeling, independently dall' other, chissa' maybe you are sentita cosi' taking from this you departs, interpretation that have provato to repeat the same thing that have receive, for demonstrate to te same of as ditches able, more' that for verita' dall' amore.
You tell i riesco to do that that has do with i, that i have felt, with whoever, because' am always i that do one possibility', also in the reasonableness of the conveniences, to of there' of the reasonableness of the life and of the possibility' (…) love, like possibility' that you represents better in the moment and flood of virtue', the same that have provato to of there' (…) appear, but of which was as much l' observation receipt that have believe that pits the same virtue' that froms where' convenience all' appear of the virtue' that better you shows.
If you understand as pits stupid this vanita', know and comprenderesti that the vedersi now not is' null' other that stay without nobody, with l' other, that that that not it happens is' only (nell’) pride of the vanita' that froms where' the think of se' to who is' crush of the representations of the convenience, more' or lead natural the you voglia understand.
Now, maybe not c' is' more', in we, that something that has determine the volonta' of live, also if cosi' impropriamente, tell that that you is' without need of demonstration, quite in an give authenticate, but full of an recognize endless, and impropriamente because' you l' have understood like something d' other from this, almost finally, pits something with which compete and compete, this is' the more' big idleness, beyond the words and the vanita', and because' this necessity' if not for demonstrate and make visible also in the silence dell'intimita', that only the thievish without conscience look for of steal, and is' with the conscience of one thievish that have date credit to that thievish, that have put in account the convenience of one life without true intimita', one life reasonable more' that true.
For this maybe not you riesce to speak like one turns, i am abstraction without intimita', not l' other life to which participate, but that' not as like real consequence, but because' you same are and you represent with l' other without intimita', and almost this makes impossibilitati to ask, but while in te c' is' one negation, that looks for (l’) escape, in i c' is' always the conscience of live the life and the negation not mi shows other that l' other that looks for (l’) escape, without that that' intacchi the my intimita' be in the loneliness that with l' other, only the my intimita'.
Is' junta the evening and, after this day despite that mi senta much gets tired, want scriverti, maybe cosi' mi feel' lead angustiata.
Want ask that thing stay doing and if also today all is' gone well, the know seems one question without sense, yet know the same that this all well means more' that other be still alive.
Are in half to an husk madden, but maybe that' not bes enough to tell if also i not be completely crazy, or not know thing d' other, to stay here to spend the time, in this way, to be cosi' different from like am always stayed, already', yet am cosi' for an absurd deceive of the places and of the time, that mi has do almost think that cosi', not know like spiegarlo as was the terror be stayed in except, almost this pits one choice of comfortable.
And you he lirased', are each day in plunders to that terror from which i have volute escape, mi seemed the thing more' true and simple.
Not know house think of i you, that thing believe be now the my life and if mi giudichi with severita' or you senti angry even when images of duty be still he lirased', is' difficult from understand this, like the husk that maddens and upsets each sense, or maybe like never before, you thinks that possa exist as hate and, as much poverty from hold the feeling where not was never stay before, of vedersi in way strange like if all that that was always exist, d' sudden not exist more', and not you understands more' thing is' correct be and, do, like if the husk is' cosi' change that seems useless be that that you was always state.
But thing were, that thing was i?
When (l’) hate ago madden all, we you notices that all was possible, because' was the thing more' convenient, maybe obviates, and not is' maybe with this same ovvieta' that like one madness natural all is' degenerate, and all is' seem duty change and still duty change for continue to survive, like not duty esserci other road.
Seems an paradox, not know if have thought the same thing that now is' arrival in mind to i, quite on one road footstep the better you departs of the time of the my day.
And you not can almost farti see in nobody road because' any ought to die, uccisa from anybody that now knows all and believes of understand all.
Chissa' if is' anybody that abbiano known before, chissa' if you is' put to think to the belongingses that the stayed happening, to see that that succeeded and, (dall') hate and from revenge to definite of stay in top, or not know from any you departs has shoot to people that sees, because' this maids to new husk that is' change, to the new circumstances, chissa' if the be' seem easy and natural change in this way, or also he be' stay motivated from an hate more' deep, even from revenge for anybody (ch)' is' dead of the your family, or from simple delirium of the power, of be in this an your craftsman.
Think often continually, to the your days, all' impossible uncertainty of not know thing it will happen' the moment after each instant that spend, yet c' is' one defense to oltranza of the life, that in any way dutys farci stay free, that dutys farci feel of power be belli like beings human.
Often on the road, even an kilometer more' in there' c' is' one girl, one woman (ch)' is' of the same, like call nation, etnia, distinguish cultural of that sniper that waits of shoot to people while crosses the roads, and not c' is' nothing that in deep we divida be i that lei, are in the same condition and, often mi ask if duty quarrel for that that stays happening, for the war that you stays fighting, yet believe that also lei be here, like i for fear, for fear of the war that you kills, for fear of anybody that you possa kill.
Or maybe for lei is' more' easy, the money already' the have do forget all, or maybe not is' for this that has begun, this stay here on the road is' something that the is' succeed more' easy, almost already' the facesse, but of the rest that thing is' this distinguish of thought that i look for of do now, almost that i senta in manner more' deep.
Of the rest not understand if inside of i c' is' one justification, if inside of i, that that i try be true, in some moments not understand more' thing i try, that thing sento, and the my body mi twists, mi i dress more' provocative of when am arrived for attract l' attention and recall the customers, but in some moments not understand more' that thing stays happening inside of i, mi you upset the perceptions, and become always more' functional to that that i do, i look for of not leave, that no feeling, mi coinvolga, and then mi sento like if the thought you remove from i, that the desire look for an appeasement without that belong to nobody, not even to i believe.
When am arrived here an year ago looked for of do all' love, of not think to other, mi felt out from all that that it happens he lirased', like ditches in except, and if c' was anybody that wanted speak, that mi asked of the thing, the asked of do all' love, if c' was anybody that mi liked, mi felt like if also i the like and that he has quite voglia of stay with i, that ditches quite i that with which wanted stay, that not look for only of the sex with whoever pits.
But then did that that mi came dictate, command, was like dutied be in this place.
Now each i meet mi seems stravolgente, the money mi satisfy and l' other is' become, mi seems one you departs of i that not understand, that mi froms where' like but with which i not am, that sento but that flows by, mi defend from whoever circles of more' you my feelings, the my beauty the my dress in way exciting maids only for do that that i do, and in some moments mi seems of not understand, and be nothing other.
Not know if be an well that i you speak of all that', thing can' venirtene in the situation in which you are, moles days that are forced to live, face in that way, but mi sento of duty do, of not feel oppressed from fear of averlo do and, believe that in this moment not can that do with te.
L' other evening c' is' stayed one person, between the customers of the evening, that mi has spoken of like was an year ago, as was past dal(l’) completes turns that was stay with i and, mi has dictate reported the my way of be and of do and the words that the tell, like the have as soon as he fromed where i to te, and i not mi remembered at all of that', and the have dictate that now in some moments mi you turned the brain, that not mi remembered of that that mi told, and when he mi has dictate that wanted speak with i, go in an other place, out from that road, the have dictate of no that not the did never, that c' was, if wanted an' other girl he lirased' with i, on the road, that, not the mattered of spend other time with anybody, only for stay in company, he mi has answer that the had ask to i, but i not could, not wanted, the have dictate.
Not know if these my words you appear near or distant, but maybe the my desire is' of be he lirased' with te without fear, of spend the time, maybe in an other way, salutami the friends alive and the cognizant, that can, also if you only know which be the my life – perlomeno not am one woman that ago the war – am without rifle, and greets the your and the my parents, have written also to you, hope that succeed to receive this letter, that not be too delay, your.
Natashia.
Is' evening, or better night, and look at the notebook in which write' tomorrow, is' hidden under the mattress and not even the my friends of room you am aware that have an notebook.
Maybe tomorrow mi leave in peace and while dormono can' write, if nobody you will come' to prendermi.
And write' … not memory like am arrived in this nation, not memory if am stayed i that have taken the boat, and all those hours in car, from an po' told that l' Albania was frees was finish the communism and i was for road, then where am going like am finita here, anybody mi has taken or we am volute come i.
Mi have forced to stay on the road, is' an place strange, of the unknown want come with i for do sex, and i not memory with who the had never do, mi have sedotta or maybe violentata, not know and then mi have dictate thing dutied do, here on the road.
Mi damage of the preservative that duty correspond to money that gain, tell that you mi damage that of which have need, bes enough that do that that tell, mi have also beaten.
An of the first customers, people, with which have do this for the money that dutied gain, mi has ask of the belongingses, any the have understand other no, mi has dictate that not had do much all' love and i not understand if be correct that he tell this if have wrong, then mi has dictate that not was correct that i same he lirased', that was better that not we returned more' in that road, and i not understand if mi tells this because' not wants pay, not have known ask the money before, not answer and stay in silence.
Mi asks that thing mean quell)' ring that carried to finger, the answer (ch)' is' past, that not exists more', then not tell more' nothing.
Mi froms where' the money, mi accompanys again on the road.
Is' return an' other turns, then each as the saw that spent.
On this road often duty hide and not farci take, in the catches, because' not have the allow of stay here and when the forces (…) order, do these belongingses, any turns not we do go to work to usual now.
Each as come of the people that mi insult, that you approach with the auto, and mi tell that duty vergognarmi, that i do one thing scandalous, that duty stop and go with you, mi howl that i do bashful that duty change, not know that thing want from i and have fear that mi discover those that mi do stay on the road and mi beat.
With the spend of the time am dimagrita, mi tell that now am more' bella and attract more' customers, am more' good, any turns mi do sniff of the dust with the nose, tell that mi ago stay better.
But not know the my body seems that not you is' accustom to all this, that not know until to that aim the voglia.
Tonight have seen again that of the before turns, you is' stop and am slope on the your car, we am states different, many, customers this evening.
Mi looks at and mi tells that am dimagrita, i stay for smile, but he mi tells : not you be at all taking l' aids, were better when were an po' more' fat, rotunda, then mi asks where dutys go with l' auto, i mi sento strange because' have taken, sniff like mi have dictate of do, mi bare and he mi question of the thing on of i on the my family, i am nervous, answer with of the ah ah, then the tell that thing wants because' mi asks all those belongingses, mi ago other questions ah ah, the tell of do and the take the sex and i the put inside, sente that am dry, mi tells that not any have want that not ce the i do, that stay to do he lirased', and then glielo take and glielo put of behind like mi have taught, but he, you notices and tells that not wants cosi', the wants do (nell’) other way and then glielo put again before, after an po' mi tells that duty stop, mi tells, but that stay to do here, because' not return to house, then mi tells that if want mi helps, that mi accompanys of the forces (…) order, that mi carrys until to Brindisi for mettermi on an ferry for l' albania, i listen to but not tell nothing, when turn on the road, descend and open the counter and stay he lirased' in feet, he mi asks the same belongingses, stay he lirased' in feet not know as time, and stay silent in silence, not know that do, then mi tells looks at that i not return' more' with te, deciditi, but i not know that do and stay he lirased' service to wait, then he mi greets and i close the counter dell' auto, any turns l' have visa return and go with the girl that was nearby to i, and i not knew that do, not know if any have spoken to anybody of the other girls, that thing the have dictate of he.
Tomorrow write' all on the notebook, tomorrow morning if mi leave in peace, or maybe no maybe mi decide' look for' in any way of save.
Is' quite night also s' is' evening when stay he lirased'.
Or better am he lirased' with the other, of been accustomed to, or better from an po' we put in four l' one near all' other, we am i, an' other of an other country african, one girl of the my same color but english and one [(girl-women)] latin american, that has the skin that seems always abbronzata more' that dark.
L' love the feelings is' an way strange this for think to that', like if all that that do all the day, or in you departs of the day, concern that', but in an way stralunato, if can tell cosi', memory that when am arrived here, the people that met was kind and when mi asked that we did with the money, told that we have bought of the rossetti, one car and of the clothes, cosi' could go in turn.
The feelings were quite strange, were because' now not we i do more' much case, to do that you want caress or kiss the breasts, the first times mi seemed strange and told that no those were for the children, mi seemed strange that want the my breasts.
But you looks for of stay happy, also when the belongingses am strange and not all the people am kind, and certain times any of we become impolite and conceited.
Each as, here, when succeeds something for the husk arrive of the new, certainly also if seems not happen nothing of strange for the husk, we am always of the girls.
Maybe the next be the russian or the ukrainian like you sente call.
The girl english from an po' seems feel important, because' has bare of be like one singer american and when not the tell that resembles to lei, is' lei to tell to the people, not you seems that resemble that singer american … an day has met an that the has dictate : looks at that you are better.
Is' an type different and an po' we you comes voglia of starci.
And already', think of new to the feelings and certain times happens that we you senta excite, also, and you you comes voglia of do with anybody that you likes, and that anybody with which go you piaccia.
One turns the latin american, is' going with one person of which had already' spoken between we, and when the has dictate that had one skin soft, really particular and bella, to lei the is' come still more' desire, but not we you leaves never go and not the you ago really understand, needs always look for of maintain an advantage, something with which power defend and not risk of not be pay.
And while did all' love with he continued to caress with one hand under the chest, because' the was come quite as desire, seems strange tell cosi', but chissa' from as not did all' love, and when he is' come and the has ask that wanted farne an' other, the before thing that is' arrival of dirgli is' stata: ce the do, certainly the has answer he, that maybe had happen, and has continue to amarla until to as lei not has felt quite all the like inside of se', and has felt the your body palpitate, the your sex start, thinking that he not if any pits aware and he has continue to amarla, but after an po' lei not knew more' if was correct, dutied becoming pay and felt that you stayed granting too, not was the rule, and has begun to dirgli any belongingses impolite for do stop, he l' has accarezzata, the has date an kiss on the front, and the has dictate, that c' is' are arrival, lei has do mark of yes' with the head, he the has dictate that went well of stay calm, has visa that was still excite, but without guardalo, like if look for an way for be kind, and when l' has riaccompagnata, you am ringraziati and salutati.
Now l' other day, while l' other girl african did sign to an that spent of stop, that the has answer that not could, and lei the latin american the has dictate good, and that the has answer thank you.
The feelings, that uproar.
When i go out the evening for go on the road, i look for always of take any customers with l'autostop, am arrival from Bologna here, for change and even stay to sea the morning.
The road is' dark and often mi stick out an po', for farmi see, maybe not have thought that the people here is' often nervous or anxious, and ancor more' that finishs for run.
L' other evening an guy you is' stop, proceeded normally with l' auto, and has play an po' with i to not understand that thing want, as that not have happen if dutied dirglielo i, and one turns that we are happen mi has dictate that mi have only accompany until where the avessi dictate, are states to speak for an po', then mi has ask if avessi, if not thought that have anybody to which want well, if had anybody, the tell that that is', that yes' c' is' ra stay anybody, but then not hard not am true and own loves, is' always the same history, then mi has ask if could meet of new for speak, that not mi have paid, quite only for speak, and mi is' come of dirgli yes', that went well.
Today is' the evening after and like always i do l' autostop, or better any instant ago was he lirased' on the road that the did, then an auto mi is' arrival set, now not am more' in nobody road, today mi rest' an po' and tomorrow see' this new husk.
Tonight not know like finish' this history. The people howls and shouting all together, laughs for outrage cackling without sense, and with those gestures point out and tell without sense.
Is' worse of one persecution, that if anybody is' organize in all this is' an mad without hope.
Am all mad.
Tell thing cosi' insipid that becomes useless not only answer, but fatiguing be forced to listen to.
And i continue to not know where go.
One turns seemed invisible, you noticed of i, almost for isbaglio, and like mi saw for the more' were scocciati of vedermi, now seems that not do other that look for, like in an play without sense, stay he lirased' for determine the my volonta', for urtarmi with the you ways and the you intentions, with the you false attentions that then you reveal of the deceive, provano like to becoming the made more' intimate, my, look for of insinuate in the my belongingses more' deprive, moles my memoirs more' intimate and with those, create one series of nuisances against of i on which establish the you force and superiorita'.
By now the husk seems full of doors to which knock, but in reality', but in reality' want only that you do that that to you maids, not the matters an fig tree dry of the person, duty belong to you representation, for then do pretense that not exist if have an' opinion or express the verita', the democracies tell that not damage opinion to the minority, tell that l' union ago the force, and this seems true, but there can guarantee almost never the verita', the verita' is' only an tornaconto one convenience on which establish if same, an hypothesize on the your life have you the faculty' of tell that' (ch)' is' well or badly, do pretense that you represent something if the is worthwhile senno' with the same convenience, do pretense that the verita' not exists like you that even the tell, and not know more' well for which miracle riesci still to express.
But then now is' still worse, now is' only one persecution, continuous, one volonta' that looks for of determine condition l' opinion of the other verses te same, pour of te of other that you not even images who be, that am in straight of stay he lirased' to annoy also you, because' can believe that that the pare on the verita'.
And continue to steal the life, continue to tell and speak with the lie, continue cosi' for farmi react to the you deceptive insults, continue to gesticulate to howl like crazy without sense, to speak of belongingses frivolous and superficial, to move the manina while the am before for then laugh like of the insane, am become of the images associate to which am suspended of the gestures of the arts, and of the expressions superficial in the turn.
Any you sentono sophisticated and professional, justified from this you condition social, from which depend for know who am and because' and then am in straight of annoy professionally, can do experiments like you call, to which decide who and like needs participate, other still look at the statistics and the results and other still look for of do happen, the belongingses like want that be, that if then not know that that do the interpret like more' the is worthwhile, c' is' place in half to all also for the justifications more' criminal, for the pratiche more' inconvenient morally, all the society' with big and small am all impazziti, all sconvenientemente convenient, all lost (nell’) envys nell' ignorance and in the overbearance, and compete to who laughs more' stoltamente between of you, or to who interprets the stupidity, in the way more' convenient for who you listens to.
Is' one persecution that not know where finish' to which not bes enough more' not even the silence for save, all protagonists for lie conclamata.
I continuous to walk, carrying behind, all that that have inside any envelopes of plastics, am dam in an coat old, and i not know how much years have, because' continue to persecute, have only of the ideas that not even know that exist, and also if not the matters nothing of i, continue to annoy, for do pretense of not know who am and that do, for not know that am in plunders to folly, because' is' with this way that build the you authority', the you identita'.
Og … of cer … and com ….
An storm you is' put quite here above, sento the rain fall and of the thunders, while the remove loses the satellite cover from storm, the extinguish and mi lay down on the couch and look at, listen to the rain that falls and each as any glimpse the gocce in the night.
Not know from where originate that that have listen to, which remove play pits, but mi is' come in mind dostojeschi kerkergaord, almost that the possibility' not coop only in the understand, but in one liberation from volonta' that we ago understand like be, but ancor of more' dov' is' the verita' and that that are.
Mi support to pillow of the couch and stay with the eyes open in the oxen, still for an po', contemplate that that see.
If the gocce d' water, that cosi' similar appear, as that then you confuse and you mix, stay the one all' other without that nobody you senta for this, in partnership to the other, like one simile that for this do, that you resemble, duty have for force an motive for stay together, in fact the do that stiano together tells well, that more' or lead express the same situation, but not is' certainly, also if probable that you meet all, fall in places much distant the one dall' other and for as they exist am together to of the other, because' for the more' there you son found.
Yet for these gocce, not you sets the matter if for such excuses duty be amiche, or associate to the other because' stay functioning to one function and have for this an' image from represent inside of if, for the you expression, in the situation in which am.
The gocce d' water you express naturally, and naturally you represent.
That' for the people is' improbable not because' not there be big beauties of thought and of convivial harmony, like of the rest of marvelous loneliness and reflection, of friendship or of love, even am quite these the belongingses more' autentiche and marvelous that needs recognize and live, but (l’) be human for be in harmony and give to own expression naturalness, not has derivation from proximity, for look for one excuses and an motive for stay together, not that often quite this be that that it happens, but is' in the need of verita' that then we you recognizes similar, not is' this that happens as we you recognizes associativamente in the excuses or in the pretense, exclusively, for represent the justness of the stay together, almost like of the gocce d' water, that nothing, really nothing ask and therefore am cosi' natural, but bes missing you that possibility' that the ago be generous, that possibility' that froms where' to spontaneita' (l’) listen to of the silence, they am maybe perfect in as such, can be beloved, but of made maybe, not love.
The gocce fall and plays again the you reach the night and the earth.
I am here in this my life without excuses, without associations convenient, or losche and lying, not am stimolata to be similar, only because' is' the thing that more' you appears correct, but the my be different not is' an contrast, like there can' be between an similar and an other similar, almost for establish who looks at who and any emulates the convenience more' that be similar for verita' of conscience, that maybe not bes enough, but of the rest makes more' participate.
Not we am friends here in the wood and not we am because' in the wood we am only i, if the friends we am can stay here or elsewhere.
Of certainly not be only an' information, one technique with which establish one modalita' that represent the verita' to of there' of that that the life is' without technique, the respect not is' convenience, information on the technique for the convenience, but is' acquaintance without need, reality' that it happens and not that needs that accada and that necessarily couples for hide that that it happens.
I we am together all' other when l' other is', and not looks for only of represent, i can also reflect and think from only, or with dio.
Already' you believes, you ago often that the people that you want represent, duty be not that that am, but exactly that vengano represent because' more' people believe of be like you, cosi' in the small hock possible and with the better convenience, now if l' example can' do as, as lead the thought of imagine for quell' example be deep and full of sense and of meaning.
Like can' esserci seeks of verita' (nell’) friendship without that', and like can' l' friendship and ancor of more' l' acceptance for love be real and verificarsi also in the concreteness of one condition spiritual in the subject, or in the beauty of the body, leave free the similes, without that'!?
Am woman, not deny the my body the my meat, but not am contrapposta to verificarsi, to fullness of the loneliness and of the silence.
The night is' advance and from couch footstep to bed, mi put to sleep and wait cosi' without saperlo, the wake up again in the morning.
The morning the sky is' frammisto of clouds and of serene, sento l' air on the guance, while (sull)' door turn the key in the carrys.
Mi start pour the wood, for return in the city', not know well thing he she it duty wait from day of today.
While walk think, and that on which you reflects more' often is' quite on the thoughts that you have, in deep is' contemplating the thoughts that look at inside of we, or hoop of understand the other, but c' is' also (quell)' intuition that ago yes' that the think be cosi' rapid that often we explains the belongingses suffer, not know then believe that abandon to the belongingses (…) instinct be something of still more' spontaneous, not that for this mi stories for delusions, but is' like if the possibility' and the choice be cosi' near l' one to all' other, that grab that that it happens he she it duty be of gran long more' spontaneously mature and reflexive, maybe like if the beauty and the desire you push in that' (ch)' is' true subitaneamente, without excuses but only with the possibility' of esserci.
Not know if the women be still cosi' deep, but i if not live only of the my loneliness the be.
Also and sopratutto in the rush of an man that you makes partecipe of se' not in the belongingses, not moles ways that you represent convenzionalmente important, but of the your be, of the story of the your thoughts, of the your listen to that winds the my husk, the your words not mi speak of that that you appears, but of an husk simple and really visible, that for if is' already' i marvel and inconceivable, but the your words mi carry pour the same gestures, that like thoughts, warn not visible but present and you touch like real.
Walk inside the wood and look at the trees that silent stay almost in perennial observation of the time.
But if this rush in an man, is' l' unique true and possible that mi do feel the husk, as that not surrender to fear listening to the your words and not also in the mastery and verita' of the your caresses, want try fear, but leave that the my words gush out from you departs more' deep of i that more' true and lead checked, that that not demonstrates but is', and with these my words leave that quest' i meet you svolga.
Look at the wood and think to husk more' in there', and that stays of the husk, not the caresses more' true and more' simple, not -l’- be in se' marvelously, but an' eternal death competitive, where all you is' transform in rules economic with which check and dominate if same, the opinions and the information, in an monopoly of the consent, where the woman is' the laughingstock prefer and l' man the your correspondent, as that the nature to quest' image he she it duty only uniformarsi, in an husk without experience but full of information not condivisibili, that not can not even understand interiorizzate, because' have need of show for exist, an play of the births without ne' author ne' interpret, this is' the reality' that dominates each perception, that annuls the conscience and froms where' alibi and justification to each consequence desirable from who interprets the want, in which all want feel participate, in the modalita' more' convenient, that of appear show, without verita' but only for vedersi guardati, in that type of experience is' unjustifiable, the more' false possible, in which recognize, also without think, like of the double that look at if same, continually riprodotti, ovunque, for feel of be approve and look at ovunque.
Not know if that that sento is' the nostalgia (…) love, maybe is' the feeling that in the numbness of the compete each as mi you frees and from that' remembers spontaneously that (ch)' is' true, that still knows and also if not c' is', knows the way in which can' exist.
I go out from wood and the noises of the city', that little ago began to udirsi am all present and rappresentati moles my eyes, that then you distraggono without cercarli.
Walking along the sidewalks, mi i forward in the streets and look at that that mi you appears, of the houses to the shops, the roads whole with l'osservatrice acute that in i looks for always the spontaneita'.
But that tell is' an way that by now is' cosi' far from that that you sees, is' far in the depth' of an power economic based (sull') usury of the conscience, (…) be human same, like an absurd due moral moles compare of the war.
That beautiful is' the smile!
The people is' all coordinate and seems that each person had an purpose for do that that ago, also those person that maybe not belong more' to nobody representation social, am in that place, even to ask the carita' quite in relationship, to the same husk that froms where' you this representation, seems that all in deep corrisponda to all.
This realism dell' image is' like the substance that tells clearly, where be that' that determines the sense of the conscience of each, and that all' certain, not as to liberty' or all' intelligence belongs, not “all' autenticita' (…) be human (ch)' is' different or sick, or has the quite relationship with the time and the space, in an place other from that establish retain true and correct, as from rendersi unjustifiable, in the chart hypothetical of the justifications of the time and of the space recognize, like representative of the all, and then l'estraneita' of this thing is', one kind of hiding of the verita', like negation same of the your visibility' and representation justified.
That' that is' and therefore not has need of justification not dutys be represent, because' has in se' or the solution or the thought like life and not representation justified from consent or dall' appear of the dissent.
Smile to one person that mi you comes i meet, that mi withered next to and, goes in the direction opposite to my.
And then mi find intimately to share the husk, to leave that hurray inside of i the my awareness of the your manifest and, of the verita' that not stops of exist, mi defend, because' forced from the squadrismo social of the mad arrogance of the demonstration of the own dimension of acquaintance, for demonstration giustificatrice of superiorita' hierarchical all' inside of the imagery that you represent, and that you establish the one in the other, characterize groups or labels.
Mi sit in one bench in an small spiazzo, with any other bench and one fountain that gushs, while about flows the traffic.
On an big apparent, visible all' other you departs of the road, c' is' written to characters big, that we be' an' i meet debate, between publishers independent and not to which interverranno any of the authors from you select, with the patronize of one multinational of the supermarket, quite in the moment in which observe “quell' immense apparent advertising, in front of to he, under, see spend one person that from figure resembles to van gogh and venirgli i meet in the direction opposite an guy that resembles in all and for all to one author unsold in life, he lirased' for he lirased' mi you comes in mind that be an put make up on of any agency of pubblicita', as seems congenial all' attention and all' identification of the more', as that also i i any sento an po' disturbed and angry, almost not mi senta lasciata in peace, like if ditches cercata and obbligata to react, so much am the conditionings, that, or you becomes aggressive and stupid or you looks for of save if same, and to thing duty think i to beauty to depth', to sense of that that know (ch)' is' true, and not to technique that looks for of farmi interpret the verita', with feelings that carry pour the calumny of the meaning.
Stay absorbed while two people point out the apparent that informs in deep that one person frees not any can' do you departs if not is worthwhile with the problematic that there you drawn and that governs the matter all, but this is' one my constatazione, many look for of appear in the context for be famous and feel successful!?
The bes sorry if mi sit here nearby to lei, mi tells an man of half age' with of the envelopes of plastics in hand and an gran hat in head, knows an po' of company ago well, and date that here about we are only i and lei, have thought of sedermi on the same bench where is' session lei.
Has do well, not believe that be something of discreditable that an man and one woman siedano on the same bench.
And already' ought to be own cosi', but knows this husk is' become like an cauldron where you throws inside of all and all you remixs in an strange way, as that then c' is' who tells who can' enter and who no!
During the day not can not observe, this by go of people that continuous to madden to do belongingses with the more' absolute not curanza of that that want tell, the do without understand which be the you purpose, am cosi' informed on that that duty do and that succeeds, that when speak between of you is' one embezzlement continuous, deny continually for affirm, more' that other not that that be that that want communicate, but that that immaginano be that that think the other, duty anticipate the you same intentions, that after any instant not know more' not even what be and then more' that listen to the sense of the words, associate the finish, has in mind dog cat, rain cold, hot bother, and giu' continue judgments of worth for determine the valenza of the quite i, in way completely demenziale, almost that telling one word you possa force l' other to speak for force of that that you wants and to fargli think that that you thinks, like if that that you expresses be only an want from show for as associate, you speaks without understand nothing (…) deduce, ne' because' if any speaks, like one pubblicita' of if same, you continue to repeat the information more' he fromed where and moles way more' dictate, independently from own experience, that often for such information you annuls, as not ought to be express in this dialogue, not be convenient, like of the rest the communication of the own acquaintance, because' (l’) deduce in play is' the supremacy or l' existence of the quite i in reference, not only to contrapposizione but to demonstration more' mostrata or biecamente represented.
Is' true that that tells and, often that' is' organize in way consociativo, associative, an po', if not like the calumny to Socrate.
But is' as psychotic such condition social, human, cosi' uniformata that have annul the person (l’) characterize like possibility' same of verita' and virtue', like expression unusual of if same, (l’) characterize not is' more' only, but underprivileged dal(l’)emarginarsi feckless of whole groups and society' that have chosen the pulsioni primary, of sex and hunger, for the superiorita' of the you opinion and moral collective, that becomes true showing, in the possibility' sublime (…) appeasement and of the check, for she of the well and of the badly like of the fear, the straight legal like expression authenticates of faith and justice.
Mi ask in definitive if such condition cosi' present for i man that in deep is' to the borders of the society', borne until as that we be' one fountain that gushs out water freely, as that pretend such hypocrisy … if she stop you legitimate the my unjustifiable position, like not more' tollerata, as is' regolato the sense, as that if you see an profanatore of the sense human and even of the respect social, have more' ownership' in be of exist of the same my not appear.
But mi tell lei dear woman that is' stayed here to listen to these my words, but not you is' maybe approve, not am i visa like one person incapable of communicate, close in an' image not communicating, and knows, believes that nobody know or you grants the wisdom even of think like an solipsistico se', maybe is' quite that i not duty have se', if not need, qual that be the meaning between the term carita' and the your valenza mostrata, i not can aspire to to as, to dignity' of be only, also cosi', but dinnanzi all' universe whole, even to dio, to maximum i can be an that insignia the carita' without averla that informs the other for necessity' and not for wisdom, giacche' that wisdom can' come from an cosi', from anybody that insignia for half of the your life, like pits Socrate, but not is' such because' who learns, learns from your example from your same ability' of be superior because' has something from give to the my needs, but if am only i (l’) craftsman of this my condition like you explains this my stay?
Am maybe i that l' have determine?
Or i am an man and an' exception in the variegated husk of the bums materials, because' such mi sento, for as brutalization we possa be in such condition such mi sento, not other.
If speak cosi', always, be tacciato of ingratitude individualistic, and not underprivileged, because' like have' happen such action is' inverecondo like the your demonstrate, but palesemente oppose also in the my condition, with an strange attitude d' hate that not know to thing call for represent, if not to feeling same for who the proof.
But now dear miss needs eat and if allows the offer one apple and of the bread.
Accept volentieri!
Is' few thing respect all' attention that has shown, listening to.
Eat in silence, with the noises of the traffic.
And i listen to the thoughts of the words as soon as he fromed where, in silence bite the apple and the bread, mi express on i same in silence, mi come in mind other belongingses but the leave suffer go by from memory.
Dear signora look at, is' an bel book and if allows glielo give, in this husk of absurd recognitions, where the more' clear ignorance you comes scambiata for celebrity and acquaintance, and where by now quite all think only to recognize more' that conoscersi and understand in an' work d' art, the invite to read this book, not is' dictate that we find if same or the husk in the way in which the you appears of live, also if lei surely, believe, know farne an' analysis internal, in short speak of an book and of an author true, not of one representation fictitious where vedersi while you do the belongingses more' meaningless or ancor worse without reality' internal, as for tell of be the protagonists or like the protagonists, as for classify and classify, but mi excuse for (l’) exceed of the my explanation has surely happen that that understand.
Thank you!
The read' volentieri.
The insert in the pocket of the jacket, mi lift from bench and i tighten the hand man.
We greet i return to sedermi still an po' on the bench, while man crosses the road and you removes, after an po' not the see more'.
Not i any notice not even but like avert the look man, see nearby to i an boy that mi asks of the money.
Dammi of the money, any have need, dammi of the money.
Not any have quite.
Mi looks at then mi ago not any have, like not any have the husk whole turns on that that i do i, for i come finanziate all the purses, the multinationals, abort with the with the sales turnover in active, for then be fill of new, from that that i produco, l' whole apparatus of the dictatorship of the liberismo behaviorism you holds up on that that i do i, i the has dictate yesterday an that i the has explain for well, that by now if l' economic world holds up is' only for i and for the arm and the war, but i with these other belongingses not through.
Dammi of the money!?
Not you have, really.
But like not see all the pubblicita' that c' is', not see how much technical ovunque, in the commerce, in the stay moles private, not see the television, is' one fiction with the language of an stop advertising, the pubblicita' with the same language the variety' the same, the documentary speaks of the life and of the death like the spot, the people of the television is' mass he lirased' for do do and think to people in an certainly way, but to that cazzo servant the spot if not has manipulate the people, to spice and rincoglionirla, this of spice and rincoglionirla the tell i, not i the has dictate that guy of yesterday, dammi of the money, am an drug addict, not the see the television is' sort with the money my!
Excuses but not know of thing stay speaking, not mi interest these belongingses, not mi interest at all, want do the my life, these belongingses quite not the want.
And not even i the want, dammi of the money any have need, not any have dear friend not any have.
Withered nearby to we an person, he mi tells be' he lirased' ask to he … is' all an behaviorism an squadrismo, am all controllati from mafia or who for you, but no that of one turns and l' unique thing of which you worrys the people is' of farne you departs, co the money my, hi go to ask the money to that there'.
Hi!
Hi.
Mi lift from bench and take back to walk, cross the streets of the outskirts and those of the center, like suol dirsi … then mi find to spend on an points close to the automobile and mi sit on one bench from where you sees the river that flows under and l' horizon that for an “gran” pull you opens to approves, between hills and sky and color, rest cosi' in silence to contemplate the lucies of the day that descends in the afternoon forward, see arrive on the points one woman that each as you leaves go to of the join, like pits one ballerina, but in the way, all' in on, seem more' those join that do the ballet dancer and circles with an mantle light, that like you moves and floats (nell’) air froms where' to person that the carrys like the perception of belong to an space almost other from where mi you appears, yet is' quite here, on the bridge, seems inconceivable.
When mi reachs nearby the bench where am session, mi looks at and mi greets with an gran smile and an bow : “ Armando La Rochelle ”, my sweet friend, my dear friend.
Arming thought pits one woman, with an light smile of approval, i do turn over again to lei.
Am woman and am man, my dear friend, two am the sexes and not other and in both the two i play the role of the representation, am man and woman of theater and the life is' an develop of deep reflection, of disclose and reveal, the conscience and the feelings, the thoughts and the deceive of the mind, the play and the depth' of the your thoughts ; thing can' approdare to life if not the life same, that for if is' already' true, and then if the gesture seems not appear is' though always he lirased' present in the meaning of the words, when recite, and the of svelamento of the my body, discovers only the numbness of the conscience of who listened to, of who interpreted, and maybe also gratifying of the quite i.
You mi segua in the discourse, listen to.
You compiacciono of the quite i the spectators when listen to!?
Can spessissimo affirm that the you conscience you benumbs and not sees that that really the you shows, am often of the show pedantic of insensibilita'.
In effects listening to lei think' that is' an strange role that that mi ago interpreter to actor of i same, am true like is' true the my interpretation, like am authenticate the actions that in scene show and those that hide, of made, or of the rest, not is' quite on this that the conscience of the spectator you ago dam or open, often you annuls or they same you annul, because' forgive the of svelamento of if same, you pretend rappresentati, quite moles you thoughts deep, often, to theater, not you recognize more', however', and because' immaginano the information that have learnt, you flatten on this, in one renunciation blessed and beota, of the sensibility' and (…) intelligence, in one complaisance of se', which judge and interpreter of the volonta' of the conscience, in the small codifys, d' imagination deprived of true depth' and liberty', in an attitude in which believe of represent the know and the justness of express, an attitude worn out of one reality' fictitious, arruolata moles roles same of the convenience of the conscience that sosta' to complaisance of an' opposition or of an' economy, which reflection intelligence, reality', like can' penetrate in that when cosi' you, they am, and tell also of represent, confuse the vanita' for modesty, the talent for consent, the theater for an stage without box, the word writing, for ciaceria of the repeat of the you chatters that not you look at and not you listen to you repeat, only, between of you, with you, for you, all here.
And then i son always i, an the husk and endless, two the sexes that there appear, thing they son, as you represent, am always they and the knows iddio.
See that arrives at the evening is' lei is' stayed those to see feel, mi leave be ancor kind, my dear friend, mi leave and mi prenda and go together like two dear amiche and like two representative i that you multiply, but though always two am, … go to dine together, that the desinar of the evening mi is' cheerful today, and silent of public, that the theater lies in i, in i only.
Mi has carry in an place where the lucies heats and tablecloths ricamante decorate the tables, where the floors breathe and the chandeliers shine d' gold and crystals, the damask of the cloths that decorate the walls, removes the time to that that stays happening out of here and, pasteggio and sip contented, you believe quite contented, is' cosi' improper all this.
While to evening late pour night, ripercorro the wood pour house, each as mi you comes from smile silently, considering to evening that have as soon as departed with Armando La Rochelle, then return silent orienting in the wood, for not lose.
To wake up again the morning, the sun each as averts the clouds and heats l' environment, and mi notice that the time spends, spends strongly and silent and the words come from sun, almost you power, and you can write poetries without paper, leave to memory and to that moment solitary, almost all forget but vissute, how much marvelous poetry, that if the faith not you pits lost each turns that has found something, and instead, even pits stayed cosi' in delay like these poetries, not be maybe diventata an coniugatore of folly or of death with the justice.
And not of an strange moment you remembers, but of the depth' introspective and of the your liberation, poetries vissute cross those people that have live all the follies human, that the history and the husk collective giving birth to you absolve and condemn, the faith that denys, the faith that raises all in the crucible of the fear of the history human.
But is' an po' sad think to these belongingses, here, if bes enough an' animates for understand, because' cosi' often, generations and generations of beings human stay in nanny of the time and of the your errors without understand understand, performing irresponsabilmente that that sentono, that that perceive.
And then when is' simple l' love riempie the time, sente the belongingses floods and the moments true and the beings human not more' superficial, never more', that you surprise and incuriosissero of the belongingses deep true, those that am simple for this, really.
And then anybody not memory when, mi churches, but i have definite of believe and that thing duty do in deep for convert of i same, if not believe in Dio and (nell’) love, (nell’) love without need d' other, for believe in Dio, have need of this semplicita'.
We wants verita', we wants verita'.
And listen to without consent, without avert (…) love.
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